Rectal Valium!

Diastat is the brand name for diazepam rectal gel.  Valium in a suppository form.

It's used to treat seizures.  It's effective because the rectum is super absorbent, which allows the drug to enter a person's system quickly, and because you really can't give a pill to someone who is thrashing on the floor.

Where I work all the controlled meds have to be counted three times a day.  A controlled med is basically anything that can get you high and can be abused.  Vicodin, Oxycontin, Valium etc. The fun meds.  The kind that when prescribed you try to hide your excitement, because you know if you get too excited the physician will think you're an addict and suggest you treat your gallstone with massive amounts of Advil instead.

Back to the butt drug:

Because Diastat is Valium, and therefore a controlled med, it has to be counted.  In case someone steals it.

Have on person who is prescribed 15mgs of diastat.  The applicators don't come in 15mgs. So he gets 20mg applicators, which are set to only dispense 15.  Which means when given there's 5mgs left over.  Which also means we have to save the damned things so they can be properly destroyed.

How desperate does a person have to be for a high to steal something that has to go up their ass?  Furthermore, how desperate does someone have to be to steal something that might have been stuck up someone else's ass first?

Don't think the rest of the people who I work with haven't pondered this.  They have.

Which let to this exchange:

"Would you be able to put it in food?'

"You mean, eat a suppository?"

"Well, would it have the same effect?"

930pm at night and I'm texting a friend who's an RN, asking about the side-effects of eating a suppository. Her reply was "I think it would make you sick."  I did a get promise that if she ever runs into it at work, she'll give me some details.

So while friends get married, have kids, buy house and work on prosperous careers, I lie awake at night wondering about suppositories.